Exam tomorrow - I wonder if my reaction to pressureful academic situations will ever change?
......mmm probably not.
On the plus side, went for a quick run today to "relax" as my dad put it. It worked, I guess but now all I want to do is go to sleep and I have at least 4-5 hours of studying left!
The best part about all this is that I'm paying 150K for the pleasure of this experience!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Lots of things
Ugh maintaining a blog while at school is not an easy thing I tell you.
I've just gotten off a week and a half of pure amazingness. Last week Luca came down to Boston where we met (along with a few other people of St.Paul's) a professor that he is interested in postdoc-ing with. Seeing this brilliant guy speaking about his faith was great and think Luca got a lot out of it. Definitely inspiring ! We left the meeting wanting to approach our own work with the same commitment and certainty.
Soon after, I left for Philly for a couple days which was such a long time coming! Spent time with old friends, my old city and generally had a great time remembering what life was like before business school. Strangely enough, leaving Boston for the first time was kind of sad, especially since we left after a good night with new friends. I didn't realize how much I miss Philadelphia, but being there, seeing streets that are so familiar and feeling so at home was such a wonderful feeling. Definitely need to work harder at replicating that feeling here.
Leaving was hard, but softened by the fact that I just barely made my train by a few seconds! No joke. I had a 5:15 train scheduled and I woke up at 5:02. You can imagine the scramble that ensued but thankfully the rush left no room for tears and gut wrenching feelings.
Sadly, that's not where I am now. After a few (three) tough days alone here, Luca decided to come spend the weekend with me given that his prof was out of town and he had thought to just work on non-bench stuff anyway. It was a really last minute decision but I was really thankful for his company! It's amazing to me how we can be together and still get as much work done. I am also in awe of the love that surrounds us being together. I can never feel sad when he's around and I know with every ounce of my being that this is how it's supposed to be all the time. If only my family were close as well then everything would be complete. Can't forget them...love and miss them so much too. I'm sure Luca feels the same about his. Btw, we skyped with his mom, dad and sister yesterday -- sooo cool! Even his dad's eyes were wide open with the mystery and beauty which is this modern technology!! Anyway - so Luca is now gone. I have a finance exam and a million assignments and company presenations in these next two weeks before we see each other again but I'm hopeful. Hopeful and certain. and I guess happy too, despite the tears.
With strength, it's off to class I go.
Happy Monday!
I've just gotten off a week and a half of pure amazingness. Last week Luca came down to Boston where we met (along with a few other people of St.Paul's) a professor that he is interested in postdoc-ing with. Seeing this brilliant guy speaking about his faith was great and think Luca got a lot out of it. Definitely inspiring ! We left the meeting wanting to approach our own work with the same commitment and certainty.
Soon after, I left for Philly for a couple days which was such a long time coming! Spent time with old friends, my old city and generally had a great time remembering what life was like before business school. Strangely enough, leaving Boston for the first time was kind of sad, especially since we left after a good night with new friends. I didn't realize how much I miss Philadelphia, but being there, seeing streets that are so familiar and feeling so at home was such a wonderful feeling. Definitely need to work harder at replicating that feeling here.
Leaving was hard, but softened by the fact that I just barely made my train by a few seconds! No joke. I had a 5:15 train scheduled and I woke up at 5:02. You can imagine the scramble that ensued but thankfully the rush left no room for tears and gut wrenching feelings.
Sadly, that's not where I am now. After a few (three) tough days alone here, Luca decided to come spend the weekend with me given that his prof was out of town and he had thought to just work on non-bench stuff anyway. It was a really last minute decision but I was really thankful for his company! It's amazing to me how we can be together and still get as much work done. I am also in awe of the love that surrounds us being together. I can never feel sad when he's around and I know with every ounce of my being that this is how it's supposed to be all the time. If only my family were close as well then everything would be complete. Can't forget them...love and miss them so much too. I'm sure Luca feels the same about his. Btw, we skyped with his mom, dad and sister yesterday -- sooo cool! Even his dad's eyes were wide open with the mystery and beauty which is this modern technology!! Anyway - so Luca is now gone. I have a finance exam and a million assignments and company presenations in these next two weeks before we see each other again but I'm hopeful. Hopeful and certain. and I guess happy too, despite the tears.
With strength, it's off to class I go.
Happy Monday!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Yes!
Last exam in an hour and a half then many things to look forward to.
1) Sleep!
2) Luca comes in tonight and we're going to see one of his potential post-doc professors give a lecture on Catholicism and Organic Chemistry.
3) Philadelphia TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!
4) Sleep!
1) Sleep!
2) Luca comes in tonight and we're going to see one of his potential post-doc professors give a lecture on Catholicism and Organic Chemistry.
3) Philadelphia TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!
4) Sleep!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Waiting for Michelle in Philly!!
Writing these few lines somehow makes me feel closer to MMMMMMMMMI as Matteo will call her next saturday when after 7 weeks he will see her again.
I can't wait to see her back in Philly where we first met and did so many things. But at the same time its gonna be funny to see how different she is after 2 months in Boston. This experience is slowly making her different under my eyes and I am so blown away even just reading the things she posts on this blog. So I can go back and read them over and over again as if I had a transcript of certain phone calls.
Here things are always a little hectic, but yesterday I had a very busy and inspiring day. We drove up to Edison NJ for a party with a former labmate. There we also met another former member of our lab that we never overlapped with, but that our boss always refers to as an example of how he wants us to do our work. Well it was one of those occasion in which the expectation was met fully. It was truly inspiring so much so that coming back from the party instead of relaxing and taking it easy I took a quick shower and ran to the lab to try and do few things that came out of my conversation with him.
We'll see in the long run if this will bring a significant impact but if it was even just for this boost of enthusiasm it was worth our while.
Also it was nice to see somebody who came out of my same lab, with my same background being in a company and doing pretty well, which gives me some confidence that some good stuff is waiting for us out there despite this huge crisis our society is facing in these days!!
Until Later!!
I can't wait to see her back in Philly where we first met and did so many things. But at the same time its gonna be funny to see how different she is after 2 months in Boston. This experience is slowly making her different under my eyes and I am so blown away even just reading the things she posts on this blog. So I can go back and read them over and over again as if I had a transcript of certain phone calls.
Here things are always a little hectic, but yesterday I had a very busy and inspiring day. We drove up to Edison NJ for a party with a former labmate. There we also met another former member of our lab that we never overlapped with, but that our boss always refers to as an example of how he wants us to do our work. Well it was one of those occasion in which the expectation was met fully. It was truly inspiring so much so that coming back from the party instead of relaxing and taking it easy I took a quick shower and ran to the lab to try and do few things that came out of my conversation with him.
We'll see in the long run if this will bring a significant impact but if it was even just for this boost of enthusiasm it was worth our while.
Also it was nice to see somebody who came out of my same lab, with my same background being in a company and doing pretty well, which gives me some confidence that some good stuff is waiting for us out there despite this huge crisis our society is facing in these days!!
Until Later!!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Thoughts
Well my friends it seems midterms are just a few days away. Crazy. I'm halfway done with my first semester! Who would have thought that i'd be feeling a bit sad about it all?
I have a ton of things to do to prepare for the tests but I was reflecting today a bit about how far these last six weeks have taken me. Yesterday, for as bad as I have been feeling myself about this experience at times, I comforted a girl who told me she thinks about quitting every other day. At one point she said "you don't cry ever? you're so strong"! To which internally I thought, girl, if only you knew!! That aside, it felt good to be a shoulder for her to lean on and to remind myself of why this experience is so great. I've been learning so much. Learning things that are SIGNIFICANT. Whether it may come from class or from my interaction with someone I find that this learning revolutionizes me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. With this in mind I wake up every day expectant, excited for what awaits me.
Just the other day we did impromtu speeches in my communication lab. You should know that somewhere in between undergrad and now I've become extremely nervous about public speaking. I blame it on my stint in the lab where I was a hermit and rarely practiced any skills that I had acquired at HC. Anyway, that afternoon, heart palpitating and all, I threw together something quickly about what my biggest strength is (ps- it's relating to others!). At the end, during the requisite feedback session, I learned that my voice upswings at the end of sentences which makes my statments sound more like questions and which takes away from my ability to express myself confidently. Amazing! Never heard such a thing before in all my years of presentating and now I'm working on this and improving just by observing my classmates. What a rare opportunity. Correct me if I'm wrong but such a collaborative environment doesn't normally exist right?
Also yesterday, before said incident with girl, I sat with a TA for one of my classes to get some extra help. He's a 3rd year PHD student in Operations Research and as part of his stipend his job is to help us out with the material covered in class. Over the years I've interacted with many PHD students who have been assigned assistanship duties and I've honestly never seen anyone put so much heart into this role as my TA does. He returns homework full of detailed corrections and suggestions and holds informative recitation sessions like his life depended on it. As we sat down and he walked me through problems for an hour yesterday I couldn't help but be amazed by his geniune concern for my success. This interaction, for how minor it was, was extremely valuable to me. I was truly struck by the way D approached his work and the value for me in that hour was the example he set. I realized that I really desire to approach my work in the same way because that effort and impact (whether an A, or B or C on the exam is earned) cannot be ignored. It's the effort, the approach to your learning that is satisying.
I'm happy here.
I have a ton of things to do to prepare for the tests but I was reflecting today a bit about how far these last six weeks have taken me. Yesterday, for as bad as I have been feeling myself about this experience at times, I comforted a girl who told me she thinks about quitting every other day. At one point she said "you don't cry ever? you're so strong"! To which internally I thought, girl, if only you knew!! That aside, it felt good to be a shoulder for her to lean on and to remind myself of why this experience is so great. I've been learning so much. Learning things that are SIGNIFICANT. Whether it may come from class or from my interaction with someone I find that this learning revolutionizes me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. With this in mind I wake up every day expectant, excited for what awaits me.
Just the other day we did impromtu speeches in my communication lab. You should know that somewhere in between undergrad and now I've become extremely nervous about public speaking. I blame it on my stint in the lab where I was a hermit and rarely practiced any skills that I had acquired at HC. Anyway, that afternoon, heart palpitating and all, I threw together something quickly about what my biggest strength is (ps- it's relating to others!). At the end, during the requisite feedback session, I learned that my voice upswings at the end of sentences which makes my statments sound more like questions and which takes away from my ability to express myself confidently. Amazing! Never heard such a thing before in all my years of presentating and now I'm working on this and improving just by observing my classmates. What a rare opportunity. Correct me if I'm wrong but such a collaborative environment doesn't normally exist right?
Also yesterday, before said incident with girl, I sat with a TA for one of my classes to get some extra help. He's a 3rd year PHD student in Operations Research and as part of his stipend his job is to help us out with the material covered in class. Over the years I've interacted with many PHD students who have been assigned assistanship duties and I've honestly never seen anyone put so much heart into this role as my TA does. He returns homework full of detailed corrections and suggestions and holds informative recitation sessions like his life depended on it. As we sat down and he walked me through problems for an hour yesterday I couldn't help but be amazed by his geniune concern for my success. This interaction, for how minor it was, was extremely valuable to me. I was truly struck by the way D approached his work and the value for me in that hour was the example he set. I realized that I really desire to approach my work in the same way because that effort and impact (whether an A, or B or C on the exam is earned) cannot be ignored. It's the effort, the approach to your learning that is satisying.
I'm happy here.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Philly without Michelle
Being still in Philadelphia without Michelle is not the same. Initially I thought (wrongly) that at least I could finish up the things for the Ph.D. having more time available.
But I quickly realized that her presence here next to me, helped me beyond the company on the bus 42 in the morning or the evenings in the lab 3080 before dinner. She made me look forward for each single day with some expectation. In fact, getting stuff done in lab in the most efficient way was driven by the desire of wanting to get time off to spend with her.
For example riding my bike (beautiful shining blue Schwinn - my birthday gift by Michelle Isacco Maria and all my other friends) I pass by places that talk to me about us both in time and space, with our usual video store (TLA video on Locust Street), the Italian Market, the Asian Market on Washington Street, Naked Chocolate, Anthropologie and I miss those Sunday afternoon walks in which we would visit them all. It was not "just" because Michelle wanted to do them, but I enjoyed it too. But the bottom line is that now I enjoy going to the Galleria in Cambridge, Shaws for food shopping or Kendall Square, so things are not so relevant, but doing with her it's relevant, which makes me think that wherever we are gonna end up being it's gonna be fine.
Talking about school I have to say that I'm pretty overwhelmed with wrapping up the loose ends and the search for the next step, both in academia and in industry, for which even the CV/resume ought to be significantly different. This implies a lot of work in getting ready for interviews, search and contacts. So far I got a fair number of interviews with companies and I still have two more coming next week, but maybe is a little too early to know about the possibility of the second round on site. However with the economy picture as it is in these days I have to acknowledge that I'm a little worried.
On the academic side I finally got my boss to agree about contacting somebody for a postdoc but I basically did not start yet, beside drafting my list.
Final destination Boston so hopefully one among MIT, Harvard, BU or BC would have a spot for me!!
Keep your finger crossed for us that all things are gonna work out nicely!!
But I quickly realized that her presence here next to me, helped me beyond the company on the bus 42 in the morning or the evenings in the lab 3080 before dinner. She made me look forward for each single day with some expectation. In fact, getting stuff done in lab in the most efficient way was driven by the desire of wanting to get time off to spend with her.
For example riding my bike (beautiful shining blue Schwinn - my birthday gift by Michelle Isacco Maria and all my other friends) I pass by places that talk to me about us both in time and space, with our usual video store (TLA video on Locust Street), the Italian Market, the Asian Market on Washington Street, Naked Chocolate, Anthropologie and I miss those Sunday afternoon walks in which we would visit them all. It was not "just" because Michelle wanted to do them, but I enjoyed it too. But the bottom line is that now I enjoy going to the Galleria in Cambridge, Shaws for food shopping or Kendall Square, so things are not so relevant, but doing with her it's relevant, which makes me think that wherever we are gonna end up being it's gonna be fine.
Talking about school I have to say that I'm pretty overwhelmed with wrapping up the loose ends and the search for the next step, both in academia and in industry, for which even the CV/resume ought to be significantly different. This implies a lot of work in getting ready for interviews, search and contacts. So far I got a fair number of interviews with companies and I still have two more coming next week, but maybe is a little too early to know about the possibility of the second round on site. However with the economy picture as it is in these days I have to acknowledge that I'm a little worried.
On the academic side I finally got my boss to agree about contacting somebody for a postdoc but I basically did not start yet, beside drafting my list.
Final destination Boston so hopefully one among MIT, Harvard, BU or BC would have a spot for me!!
Keep your finger crossed for us that all things are gonna work out nicely!!
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